The Part in the Recipe you usually skip

When I peel off my disturbingly snug winter tights after a run I usually don’t find pieces of my flesh adhered to them. Thursday night was unusual.

Perhaps I should back up a bit.

I, like many people, have been struggling with healthy habits during the pandemic. There’s a lot going on and sometimes endless treats help. Ok, endless treats ALWAYS help.

That, dear reader, is why I’ve been a member of Weight Watchers for years. And why I’ve been consistently running 4 – 5 times a week. Since I live in the middle of the city it isn’t unusual for me to come across a number of other folks while running. A pre-pandemic mild annoyance transforms into potential danger when all these heavy breathers are shedding virus (a phrase I love) all over the place.

Given my paranoia, I stopped running for a bit and we bought one of them fancy spinning bikes (not that one, this one). I spun exclusively for awhile and it led me on a journey of discovery. I discovered that I have it in me to dislike an exercise even more than I dislike running. I also discovered that Peloton instructors are very fit, very peppy, and very much unlike me.

With winter slowly spreading itself across Philadelphia I figured it would be safe to run after 7pm (post baby bedtime). I figured I wouldn’t run into (ha!) many others on the streets or the river path during the cold, dark night. Turns out I was right, and I’ve adjusted my exercise routine to include both running and spinning.

That’s how I found myself sprawled on the sidewalk in front of an empty church during a chilly early winter Philadelphia evening. Directly before being prone, and slightly moaning, I had been very close to finishing my 3 mile run. I was listening to a podcast and feeling pretty good about myself. I thought to myself, “how far have I gone?” So I took out my brand new iPhone 12 Pro Max to take a peek at Runkeeper.

What a lovely thing that phone is. I opted for “Pacific Blue, ” which I think translates from marketing speak to “kinda blue if you squint in the right light.” Things to love about the phone: Sharp, flat corners and a great camera which almost makes up for the very ugly camera bump. Oh, and the battery life is amazing.

Anyway, I glanced at the completely unshattered screen of my brand new iPhone and saw that I had about 6 minutes left in my run. I didn’t feel like fiddling with my pocket zipper, so I held the iPhone in my hand for the rest of the run.

Up ahead on the dark, cold sidewalk I saw some dude walking down the street. I performed my usual “running in a pandemic” move of swerving as far away from him as possible which lead me to hug the church fence.

What I didn’t notice was the uneven sidewalk ahead of me. I definitely noticed the scrapping sound as my iPhone, hands, and knees skid across the very pebbly sidewalk moments later.

I don’t know if you’ve had a serious fall lately, but it is a rather jarring experience. One moment you’re in complete control of what your body is doing, the next moment you’re hurtling through the air without any time to react in a meaningful way.

The dude I was trying to avoid asked me if I was alright, since he had just seen a rather large man suddenly hit the sidewalk. I glanced at my iPhone and told him I was fine. He walked on.

I stood up and stared at my iPhone. The screen at the lower right corner was pulverized and there was a spiderweb of cracks where before there was but a single sheet of pristine glass.

My running app was still running (ha!) so I couldn’t wallow for too long. I finished my run, which reassured me that I hadn’t broken either of my knees, and then headed home.

Whilst walking home I found out that it is very easy to sign up for Apple Care+ on a brand new iPhone (it covers two instances of accidental damage) which is nice.

Marisa helped assess the damage when I got home. In addition to a broken iPhone I had sacrificed most of the skin on my left knee to the sidewalk, and a good bit of my right knee skin too. My hands had a few cuts, my right elbow was banged up, and I pulled some sort of muscle on my flank. Nothing too serious, but I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone.

The iPhone Review Part

But would I recommend the iPhone 12 Pro Max?

If you like big phones I cannot lie: this is a good one. However, if you have a newish phone there’s probably only a few good reasons to update to the 12 Pro Max:

• If you feel like your current iPhone is slow and you’re eligible for an upgrade, go for it.
• You want the best camera on an iPhone (the camera is so very good).

Here are some sample images from the camera. Note that I’m not a pro photographer and I’ve done no editing to these pictures (which I’m sure you can tell!). My photographic subjects these days are mostly two 16 month old buys who won’t stand still and random crap in Philadelphia. Not exactly what Apple would pick to highlight the camera, I don’t think.

It does its best with bouncing babies, but otherwise I think it is does a great job for my needs.

I should note that I had the iPhone 12 Pro Max for about a week, and during the course of that week I took a seemingly unbelievable 438 pictures. I don’t know what you should do with that information, but it seems relevant.

That’s really about it, honestly. Battery life is great too, at least it has been for me.

I will say that I’m writing this on my XS Max and this phone, with its rounded sides, feels much better in my hand. The 12 Pro Max looks nicer, though if you’re a case person they’ll both look and feel the same, so what do you care?

There you have it: the iPhone 12 Pro Max (dumb name, by the way) is better than falling down and hurting yourself.