The other day I was talking to Julie and the topic of online dating was brought up. I told Julie that a while ago I logged into Match.com to see how my profile was doing and I was greeted with the sad state of affairs you see to the right. My profile has been viewed a whopping zero times in the last few months.
I’m being virtually rejected by women who don’t even know that I exist! I bemoaned this fact to Julie and then I said, ‘I’m going to get an ad somewhere where I’ll be appreciated.’
Julie looked at me, waited a moment, and said, ‘And that would be where?’
‘I have no idea. But it must exist, right?’
Sadly, I don’t think it does exist. I have a feeling that the wild world of online dating isn’t for me. I’m just not that attractive on paper (virtual or real paper, I might add). Ladies need to be exposed to me for awhile before my charms become apparent, which means that online dating, speed dating, and most normal social settings don’t work in my favor.
What’s a rapidly thinning geek to do?
Though, it isn’t all sadness and garment rending in the world of Scott. I went to Thad’s holiday party a few weeks ago and I have it on good authority that some of the women in attendance thought I was nice and funny. That’s something I suppose, though I have the feeling that most ladies look at me as the nice and funny friend. I need to be a bad boy, or something. I must add a leather jacket and profanity to my daily gear.
10 responses to “Why must the internet ladies hate me?”
I would just like to point out that I questioned Scott on this matter to garner *ideas* for myself about online dating, not because I thought Scott would go unappreciated *anywhere.*
That’s true, julie, but it is funnier the way I wrote it. 🙂
PS. Here are a few ideas for achieving bad boy status…you can see if any appeal to you…1) run away from home (it may be too late for that), 2) pierce your own private parts with no anasthetic 3) live a life of marginal employment or 4) move in to a house that smells like crack with a bunch of punks who break things on the street at all hours, effectively waking your neighbor’s 4 year old. Eh, Scott?
Nobody gets near my private parts without anasthetic.
Dude…change your picture.
Go for a warm smile and show off the Disney-like roundness, not the full angular left-cheek shot.
I am wondering if internet dating is on the downward way. I haven’t heard much about it lately.
I’ve had success with internet “meeting” (I don’t like to think of it as dating since I only used it as a way to meet people and then date) The guy I am currently in a serious relationship with I met online at OKCupid. Hey—I tried going after you from a website and was thoroughly shot down (don’t worry I’ve recovered). I say you get the result of the effort you put into dating, internet or otherwise. If you try and take chances and follow up with “the ladies” they will respond. You can’t just wait and see if “the ladies” will pursue you—you have to pursue them.
I agree with Wendy. Pick a nice young lady and ask her to dinner. Bring a single pink rose when you pick her up at her place or meet her (if you must), so your intentions are clear.
I think you overthink these things instead of just going for it. Carry around a flask of Pimm’s if that’s what it takes to make yourself brave and foolish enought to just take some chances!
I take it all back. The bad boys who break things brought me a casserole full of homemade mac n’ cheese today.
“Daily Gear”
I have to add that to my vocab pronto.