New sneakers?
The day I moved to Philly

New Balance 992

nbm992.jpgAh, it seems like just this past August 2nd I bought myself a pair of new shoes. Oh, wait, I did. I purchased a pair of New Balance 991's from Philadelphia Runner (and I found out what the phrase 'like a fat man in a running store' really means).

It is 8 months later, and the 991's have seen better days. Now, some might be shocked that these sneakers didn't last longer, but I should point out that I wore them everyday for the last 8 months. While it is true that I am a large fellow, I do walk a lot putting much wear and tear on my footware. Therefore, it didn't strike me as particularly odd that I might need to pick up a new pair (though I like to get at least a year out of shoes in general; I will bend this rule for these sneakers because they were so darned comfy).

I know what you're thinking: given my love of the rut surely I got myself to the nearest shoery and bought a brand new pair of size 12 New Balance 991's.

Well, you are wrong. I have decided to turn over a new leaf. Yes, I have thrown caution to the wind! This Scott is no longer stuck in a rut, I tells ya! I need not be a slave to my own stogy preferences, why can't I think outside of the box when my footwear is concerned? You know what they say, change starts from the bottom up!

That's right people, New Balance has discontinued the 991's and replaced them with the 992's (pictured above), therefore I couldn't get a new pair of 991's readily. I was assured by Marisa, who I have just appointed as my shoe guru, that I could probably procure a pair of 991's on the internet despite their scarcity. She also told me that I should have bought 2 pair when I had the chance (which doesn't really compute. I mean, would the other pair just sit in the closet like some frustrated understudy of Bernadette Peters in Annie Get Your Gun, whilst the other pair [the 'chosen pair'] was on stage belting out 'There's No Business Like Show Business' and basking in the glow of an adoring public? That strikes me as shoe abuse). However, since I couldn't immediately find any online purveyors who had this particular shoe (in silver) in stock I decided that this purchase could wait until the weekend, when I would have more time to devote to shoe related inquires.

I left work today with no intention of purchasing some 'fly new kicks,' as the kids say, however, I found myself walking toward Qdoba (I like their fajita burritos) in Center City. My planned route took me directly past City Sports, and I didn't see the harm in popping in to see if they had either the discontinued 991's or a pair of 992's I could try on.

Before I tell you about the shoes, I first must mention 3 other customers I saw there:

Customer #1: Now, I don't want to perpetuate any stereotypes, but this woman must have had 20 pairs of shoes next to her, all of which she had obviously tried on and discarded. While I was standing there she had the shoe boy scamper off and get her several other pairs. Sheesh, what is with the shoes, ladies?

Customer #2: Some dude (who was sportin' socks and sandals I might add) was sitting on one of the chairs trying on some shoes. Not odd at all. He had a pair of shorts and pants next to him which he seemed interested in purchasing. As I stood there he picked up the pair of shorts, inspected them, and then wrapped the waist around his neck, as if to determine if they would fit. Since this particular method of 'trying on shorts' didn't make any sense to me I thought perhaps I had misinterpreted his actions. Happens to the best of us. Then he did the same thing with the pair of pants. Is my waist supposed to be the same size as my neck? If it is I am in big, big trouble.

Customer #3: A young woman, about college age, was looking at the flip-flops. I noticed that she was currently wearing a pair of flip-flops (sans socks, unlike neck waist man) which was all well and good, until I saw her take down a pair of flip-flops from the rack, slip off her own, and try on the new ones. This wouldn't have been too bad, I suppose, if she had actually purchased the flip-flops which she had just gotten her feet germs all over, but it would seem that those flip-flops did not satisfy her needs and back to the rack they went. That is just uncivilized. I looked at her crossly, but I don't think she noticed.

Back to me. Turns out they didn't have any 991's in sight, however, they had plenty of 992's. I tried on a pair and in less than 5 minutes I was on my merry way to Qdoba with a new pair of shoes in a bag. That, ladies and gentlemen, is how you buy shoes.

Though I can't help but think that I should have gotten two pair.