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Hug and release, people!

wlvr_scotty_and_chris_b&w_small.jpgWhilst I was in college Chris, a good friend and housemate at the time, was seeing a girl who he met because she listened to our radio show (long story). She was a very nice girl, but she didn’t follow ‘Scott’s Rules of Hugging.’ If I have known you for awhile you can feel free to hug me with impunity. However, if I haven’t known you long and you insist on hugging me you MUST hug and release. A quick hug and then we both go our separate ways. Is that so wrong?

Well, Wendy wouldn’t have any of it. She would back me into a corner and hug me uncomfortably long. Perhaps my first misstep was sharing with her my rules of hugging (which I just shared with you all, so no doubt someone who reads this is going to try and hug me for a little TOO long).

Wendy also, incidentally, took the picture that graces this post.

Anyway, it looks like I am going to have to evade more and more hug since hugs are the new handshakes:

Men accustomed to the automatic and dependable hand clasp accompanied with a brisk up-and-down pump at dinner parties and college reunions, now must preface their greetings or goodbyes with intricate and split-second calculations based on body language, length of friendship and other factors.
Do I shake or do I hug?
Making the right choice matters. If one guy goes for the hug, but the other decides upon a handshake, they might collide. An excruciating dance will follow, as the poor lads work feverishly to determine what to do with their hands, their arms, their bodies.

Life just got a little more complicated. Can’t we all just stand at a respectful distance and nod to one another? Would that be too difficult?

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