The tech support person you have been working with for hours says, 'Do you happen to have a spare server laying around?'
Sigh, looks like a complete rebuild is in order (at least on the OS level). It could be worse, like if I had to do it over the weekend.
Oh, wait, I do have to do it tomorrow.
Well, thems the breaks I suppose. At least I don't have to get up at 9am.