Blankbaby

I’m a barber kind of guy. I have had the same haircut for the last 15 years or so, and that let’s me think about things other than my hair. However, it has come to my attention that the ladies enjoy a sharp man.

Therefore I thought why not go to a salon? Mr. Kirpan told me that he had a good experience at American Male, and suggested I check them out. So, I headed over to their website (of course) and see that they bill themselves as ‘The New Barbering Experience.’

I decided to go with the ‘Quality Grooming Experience’ which includes the following:

• Energizing Shampoo
• Paraffin Hand Dip
• Mini Facial
• Warm Towel
• Mini Scalp Massage
• Haircut
• Re-Shampoo
• Conditioning
• Splash
• Styling

They also offer a wide range of body hair waxing options including a back waxing for $40 and up (to which Paul quiped “It would cost you ‘and up’”). Sorry, ladies, I didn’t opt for any of the waxing options, and I have no plans to.

Now, as you all know, mundane tasks turn into adventures for me, and this one was no different. Having never been in a salon, I was a little anxious as to what was going to happen. First they had me strip.

I kid, I kid. Most people ask me to put more clothes on rather than take any off.

Anyway, back to the salon story, I showed up a little early and Esther, the stylist, was the only one in the place. She greeted me, and helped me get settled. She then said, ‘Are you ready?’

Since I was, I said yep, and off to the races it was.

First she put some lotion on my hands, and massaged them. Esther remarked, as she massaged my hands, ‘You have very soft man hands!’

I relied, ‘I don’t do any manual labor.’

She then had me dip my hands in hot wax, she wrapped them both in separate plastic bags, and then put my hands in oven mitt like things. Now, this doesn’t sound like it wouldn’t be fun, but boy I tell ya. That was worth the 40 bucks alone.

We then went over to the sink and she washed my hair, and gave me a scalp massage, which was very relaxing, and then she put some conditioner in. Whilst the conditioner was… conditioning, she gave me a mini facial and then place a hot towel on my mug. Very relaxing.

She washed the conditioner out, and off we were to the haircut. Now, I suck at small talk. So there wasn’t too much of it. I just like to sit and think while I’m getting my haircut, and Esther didn’t mind that. So two points to her.

After the cut she said, ‘You don’t want to get your hair washed again, do you?’ Since I knew I was paying for 2 washes I said, ‘Why yes I do!’ And so she washed my hair again, and then styled it. I did tell her I was looking for something different since I have had the same hairstyle for the same 15 years, but I ended up with pretty much the same hair cut. However, she did add some ‘product’ which has given my hair more hold.

And thus ended my first salon experience. Here are two pics of the results:

I’m so hot.

And, yes, I am still single. But now I’m oh so sexy! Next on my list, I need to get new glasses. Ideas? Remember, I have a HUGE head and I refuse to wear contacts, so don’t even go there (as the kids say).