Is it wrong that I think most grand romantic gestures are kinda creepy?

Like flying to a different city to ask someone you hardly know to dinner, or writing several ten page letters to someone, or having a box full of all the stuff a loved one has ever given you (including ticket stubs, scraps of paper, etc.).

Perhaps I am just bitter, but it all just gives me the creeps.

9 responses to “Cynical?”

  1. I dunno. My boyfriend taught himself to make cheesecake for me, I thought that was a pretty good grand romantic gesture, without the stalkerish aspects of saving bits of paper 🙂

  2. I don’t think you sound cynical or bitter. Too many people equate grand gestures with romance, when a series of small, thoughtful actions are way more meaningful (like learning how to make cheesecake for your girlfriend).
    I partly blame the movies. Behavior that’s considered charming in a romantic comedy usually translates to creepy in the real world. Remember Say Anything? Seriously, if some guy was blaring music under your window in the middle of the night, wouldn’t you call the police?
    Whenever I express this opinion, someone invariably says, “oh, you’re just not romantic.” Not true–it simply depends on your definition of romance.

  3. I think there’s often a fine line between “creepy” and “romantic”. Which side the gesture falls on seems to depend on whether the attention is welcome or not. It could seem like a moment out of “Sleepless in Seattle” or “Fatal Attraction”.
    Learning to make a special food for someone special isn’t creepy at all. Though imagine if a coworker of yours you barely know did that. Creepy!
    The problem with Grand Romantic Gestures is, you kind of wonder what will happen when the relationship settles into a state of normalcy. No more cross country dinner dates when you live together!

  4. Becky, I didn’t see your post before writing my own. I think you’re absolutely right about the influence of movies. My own post referred to two of them!
    Re: your Say Anything reference: Damn straight, I’d call the cops, too. I don’t think I’d even look out the window to see who it was!

  5. I am glad I am not the only one. Hey, don’t get me wrong romantic is not a bad thing, but there is a fine line between romantic and super creepy.
    I wish someone would make me cheesecake, it is my favorite of all cakes.

  6. Scott, you are truly the master of the subtle hint.
    Thad, I’d look out the window first. If the person blaring music wasn’t Viggo Mortensen, I’d call the cops.

  7. Another reason I often have awkward social encounters, subtlety was never one of my strong points.
    And as for the blaring music, I would call the cops even if it was Viggo (or Viggie as I like to call him).

  8. Well, I grew up in a country where serenading is considered part of the wooing process.
    Girls there are taught that if you don’t like the serenade you can tell them to let you sleep by throwing cold buckets of water or by shutting them up with a nice potted plant in their head.
    If you liked the serenade, obviously you have to go and smile/giggle and send them a flower (of said potted plant) and then chat a little after…
    I left too early in life to even get a “serenata” so i can’t say such methods of volume control work.
    And I’d agree with Becky. Viggo, you can come and serenade any time 😀

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