Who is dressing up for Halloween?

I am not. I plan to sit in my dark apartment and hope no kids knock on my door looking for handouts. I mean really, I don’t want to enforce this absurd notion that just because you dress up like Spiderman I am obligated to give you some of my delicious candy.

That candy cost money, the store wouldn’t just give it to me if I walked in dressed like Lil’ Orphan Annie. I’ll tell you what they would do, call security and kick my ass out of there.

Let that be a lesson to you kids, at least I am just pretending not to be home and not kicking your ass.

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