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June 2000
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July 2000

Scott for Dummies

Time to update the old journal! I don't have much to talk about.

I bought a "Access 97 for Dummies" book. It amazes me the things that people will buy! I saw a book "Life for Absolute Morons" and "Hey Stupid Idiot Dumb Guy Fool Boy Sissy Pants, What can you do?"

I settled for a dummies book.

I is dumb.

Dumb like a fox!


The end.

I can write good

So, it is very late. What am I doing updating my online JOURNAL at this hour? As usual the internet sucked me in for a few more hours than it should have. So now I am up and wide awake, with nothing to do. So I thought, this is better than nothing, right?

The people who have been reading this know that is just not true!

That brings me to what the bulk of this entry will be about.. and that is the reaction that my friends have had about this. They have all liked it! And that is great! It just proves to me that I can write. At least marginally well.

I know what you are thinking, what will it take to convince you that you do have some writing talent, Scott?

I am not sure. I can write a paper for a class with little trouble, and short stories are easy for me to write, and this here journal is easy to write as well (of course I am just babbling with this). However, I love to read. I think that is what does it to me. I read many things, and while i have never come across anyone who writes quite like I do (subject matter or prose) I am not sure if that is a good thing. Maybe no one writes like me because I suck. Who knows? All I know is that there are a lot of people out there who write much better than I do. That is true with everything in life I suppose. There are people out there that are better than me at everything. I have a name for this group of people, "bastards."

Anyway, what is going on with my life you ask?

Hmm.. I order a new computer for little to no reason. I just wanted it, and darn it I should have it because I can afford it. I wanted it. It is mine.

It is a new Apple G4 Power Cube. I salivate just thinking about it; I hope it is waterproof.

That is the big excitement in my life. OK, so this entry isn't all the funny. It is tough being funny.. just look at Adam Sandler. He tries so hard. It is embarrassing.

As is my spelling.

Goodnight all. As always, if you read this and you like it.. email me. I am a lonely pathetic man who craves contact with the outside world.

Everybody likes me!

The ratings are in, and I am the smash hit of the summer!

To clue you in, I sent an email to a bunch of my friends and told them to check out my online JOURNAL (I am not a sissy!!!!!!). Most of them have written me back and they... love it. Some of them have compared me with Dickens (I blush), others say that I have given meaning to their pathetic lives (you are welcome carol).

It feels good to be doing good. I am changing the way people think of themselves, and others. It is what I have been born to do.

Anywho, I went to a wedding this weekend. It was good and Catholic, offerings to the Virgin Mary, the whole bit. I was flashing back to grade school during mass. It was odd. I really think they need to update the mass again. Can you say, "Sexxy nuns?" I knew you could!

That is what the Roman Catholic Church needs.. sex appeal! You never hear anyone say, "Check out that guy, he's got a butt like a priest!"

Maybe they should. Maybe they should.

Please read my blog

If you are here because I sent you a pathetic email trying to gain attention to my meandering writings on the web that no one would stumble across without guidance, you get a cookie!

If you are here because you think you might gain some kind of cosmic insight... you get a cookie!

Cookie good. Insight bad.

Anyway, you might be wondering, Scott... why did you send me an email about this crappy site? I figured that if I told people about it, I would feel compelled to keep updating it, and that means that I would be writing on a semi regular basis.. which is a good thing.

Also, what else are you doing? I don't think you are getting your daily recommended serving of McNulty in your diet. This is for your own darn good!

What should I write about in a diary, an online diary no less! I am not sure. If I were Marsha Brady I would be writing about the dreamy boys in home room that ignore me. If I was Janet Reno I would be writing about all the dreamy girls that ignore me in cabinet meetings.. and how the president can't keep from asking to play "doctor" with me.

But I am neither of those people.. at least not last time I checked. I will stick with what I know then, complete and utter nonsense!

With the occasional tirade thrown in for good measure.

That reminds me, something has been bugging me for awhile. People and elevators!

Let me explain. At my work place there are two elevators, one right next to the other. On the ground floor there is no other reason to stand in front of them, other than to wait for the elevator so it make lift you up into the heady regions of the upper floors.

There exists only one call button to summon the elevator.

Are you with me so far? I thought so.

Let me set a scene for you. I am standing in front of the elevators, staring at the elevators as one tends to do when you are waiting for the elevator doors to open.

Someone walks towards the elevator, looks at me, and then pushes the call button!

They push the button! As if I have no idea how to operate an elevator. Perhaps they mistake me for a Grecian statue.. I can't blame them if they do.. I am an Adonis. If that is the case then I can understand why they would press the button. Statues have no interest in elevators. Everyone knows they take the stairs.

That is my rant for today. Tune in for more of my thoughts on a semi regular basis. Bookmark this site and visit it often.

Email me.

Send me gifts.

Hug a kitten.

My first blog apology

Well, it has been awhile since I undertook this online diary thing, and I only posted one freakin post! Kinda pathetic if you ask me.

I am going to try to update this fairly regularly, and I plan to send out an email to a bunch of people I know about this... so maybe they will keep me on my toes. I find myself to be a wonderfully interesting person, and I am sure my friends do as well.

I would send out that email tonight but hotmail is not working for me for some reason! Perhaps Microsoft knows I am using a Mac and they are trying to screw me. Most likely not since Microsoft makes oodles of software for the Mac OS. In fact I have some of it on my very own computer. I didn't pay for it though. Not that I couldn't afforf to buy it (I do think the prices are a little bloated but that is a different story) it is just that I have always wanted to be a pirate. So I thought I would copy the software and make use of it. If anyone from Microsoft legal is reading this, I will buy the software from you guys, if I have to. I am jsut waiting for OS X to come out.. and then I am going to go through the mother of all upgrades! I am even fooling with the idea of getting rid of my faithful iMac and getting a G4 when the new OS comes out. But that might be extreme.

Then again, I am a pirate and we live for the extreme, matey!

So what is new with me? I paid $8.50 to watch "Scary Movie," the only scary thing about which is the fact that is not in the least bit funny. Film makers seem to be under the impression that shocking equals funny.. or that gross equals funny. Don't get me wrong, I laughed my buttocks off at "There's Something About Mary," but the crop of films that its sucess has spawned fall very short indeed.

Other than that.. I spent a lovely 4th of July weekend in PA with my lady friend. It was very nice. It amazes me, how do I get through a day without seeing her? I am not sure... but I do it more often than not. I am hoping to put an end to this situation as soon as I can... not in a bad way.. I love Elisa (something that is difficult for me to express most of the time but I can write things more easily than I could ever say them. I have told her I love heron numerous occasions, but I am not the kind of guy that will turn to her in the middle of hanging out with our friends and tell her I love her. I play my emotions close to my chest). Anyway, where was I? Oh.. I just want to spend more time with Elisa. Living in the same state would help!

So it is 3am! I am listening to XTC and trying not to be sleepy.. but the old eyelids are getting heavy so I should go to bed.

Email me if you read this and tell me what you think! I actually got an email from someone about my last entry! I have to respond to them...

Live long and prosper