I like to think of myself as shy and retiring, an opinion that isn't always upheld by reality. Sure, I'm fairly shy around people I don't know, but around friends I'm far from shy (and if I'm in front of a crowd... forget about it). Concurrently, I like to think of myself as someone who is happier behind the scenes, not the center of attention. Once again, reality disagrees.
There are many pictures of myself on Flickr (234 at the moment), which I suppose isn't the mark of some shy, reticent individual.
Here's a story that goes with the above picture:
I was amongst those lucky enough to be invited to a certain someone's birthday party, so I got gussied up (you never know who you'll meet at these parties. Yes, ladies, I am single.) and headed on over. Stellargirl was also in attendance with her camera in hand, and for some reason, and with no prodding from yours truly, she decided to start snapping pictures of me. Once it became clear that our height differences were making the ideal shot difficult to get she had me sit in a chair, which I did because I am ever the willing photographic subject (see here, here, here, and here). As the camera clicked away Becky walked in, and rolled her eyes saying, 'Of course, Scott is getting his picture taken.' Really, what party is complete without me getting my picture taken at it?
Anywho, the real reason I am writing this post is to call your attention to the face that I am making in the above picture (taken by stellargirl herself). This face is my default picture face (Lord knows why) and as such deserves a name (ala Zoolander's Blue Steel). Sound off in the comments with some suggestions! You know you want to.
Calvert DeForest died today. You might remember him from David Letterman's show where he played the character Larry 'Bud' Melman. He always got a laugh from me, what with his odd delivery of pretty random stuff (my favorite kind of humor).
Death has been in my thoughts a lot as of late. Well, perhaps not a lot, but more than usual. A friend of mine recently died due to complications from surgery and I don't think he was much older than I am. Not to mention the sudden, and entirely unexpected, death of Star. It really makes you think about what you're doing with your life.
Death is also a great motivator, at least for me. It is the main reason I have managed to shed 75 pounds in recent months. Death is a constant thought in the back of my mind as I go about my day. I really don't want to be another person who dies because they didn't take care of themselves (though heart disease does run in my family. Hurrah!). I'm not afraid of dying, really, so much as not willing to miss out on everything that will happen after I'm gone. I don't believe in an afterlife, or reincarnation, or anything along those lines. This life is the only one I get, and I damn well better enjoy it.
Heavy stuff, huh? I promise I'm not depressed! I'm a pragmatist when it comes to my own death (cremation, I think, is what'll happen to my body since I doubt any of my organs are harvestable... but the doctors should check. If they can use it, they can have it!) but I am against it happening to other people.
Talking about the hordes of 'comedy groupies' on Sit Down Comedy with David Steinberg Jon says:
They [i.e. women] always say, 'Sense of humor it's so important to me... that's why I'm in love with Don Rickles.' Yes, sense of humor is very important to you in theory.
So very true. Lots of folks seems to find me entertaining (whether or not I am actually funny I leave up to you. I don't really consider myself to be that funny, but I do enjoy it when people laugh and so it follows that I often attempt to make it happen. It is selfish, really) and yet the ladies are not pounding down my door.
That being said, I have it on good authority that Jon Stewart is hot. Perhaps I just need to get a show on Comedy Central.
I'm a big fan of my comfort zone. I love schedules, routines, and clear objectives. They make things so much easier for me. I mean, if you have a hard and fast deadline you know when you need to have something done. When you have a routine you know what should happen and when it should happen (and I think my love of routines is one of the reasons I have, in fact, been getting fit. I had my doubts about whether or not I would actually go to the gym as often as I should. Luckily, I have been).
Sadly, for me, the universe doesn't play by my rules (what up with that, universe? I totally play by your rules. I've never violated the laws of causality, nor have I gone faster than the speed of light. Help a brother out!). Sometimes, it would seem, the only way to get somewhere is to step far, far outside your comfort zone and just do it.
I do not like this one bit.
Leaving my comfort zone frightens me.
I am a weak, weak man.
There should be some sort of company that you can call, and they'll take care of whatever you need to get done. Since I don't think such a company exists (and if they did, I bet they would charge a lot for their services... I would think of them as 'life movers.') I must leave my comfort zone from time to time to accomplish things that I know have to be done.
I know what you're thinking, 'Scott, it is good to leave your comfort zone! That's when the best things in life happen!' Sure, I know that intellectually, but the comfort zone is not a place of reason. The comfort zone is a place where no one judges you, no one says you're wrong, and you know the rules of the realm. Everything outside the comfort zone is the Wild Wild West. You never know when some varmint is going to shoot you and gallop off with your horse.
I'll be posting more about my party shortly, but until then check out some pictures. The party was a blast!
Look at what the Past Me thought the Current Me would be doing:
I am thinking I might want to go full-time if I can swing it, because it usually takes 5 years or so to get done.. and I want to be Dr. Scott by 30. And since I am turning 25 in a matter of days, I have to get started!
Dude, when did I get sooo lame?
I turned 30 yesterday. How did I celebrate this momentous occasion? Thusly (presented to you in convenient list form):
- Went to work (I was very nearly on time)
- Went to lunch at Pod (thanks, everyone!)
- Went to the gym and did 2.7 miles on the elliptical in the secret equipment room (Thanks, Becky!)
- Had a bacon cheese burger from Five Guys for dinner (I know, so not on the diet but it is my frickin’ birthday)
- Cleaned out my closet (I’m sorry mama.)
- Did some laundry
- Patched some servers
C.K. tagged me, and so now I must participate in the latest meme sweeping the internet. Here we go, five things most of you don’t know about me:
- I was a boy scout, a very bad boy scout but a boy scout nonetheless. My father was an eagle scout and I always had the sneaking suspicion that he wished I was more outdoorsy.
- I enjoy hugs. I have this reputation that I hate being hugged, and it simply isn’t true. I like appropriate hugs, which pretty much covers being hugged by anyone who reads this (if you are so inclined to hug me. If you would rather not hug me that’s cool too). I will seldom initiate a hug, because I can never tell if a hug is welcome, which might add to my hug hating reputation.
- I live in constant fear of being fired. No matter how many times the people I work with tell me that I’m doing a good job, in the back of my mind I think that at any moment I will be told to take my belongings and leave the building. This isn’t a new thing either. When I was in school I was always afraid that I was on the edge of failing all my classes and being kicked out of school.
- I fear that I will die alone (just like Capt. Kirk! I’m such a big geek.)
- When I was a child I carried around a purse. The purse contained blank pieces of paper. When my mother and I would go into stores I would pay for whatever it is we bought by writing a ‘check’ on one of the pieces of paper. This is true, and I have no idea what it means about me.
The other day I was talking to Julie and the topic of online dating was brought up. I told Julie that a while ago I logged into Match.com to see how my profile was doing and I was greeted with the sad state of affairs you see to the right. My profile has been viewed a whopping zero times in the last few months.
I’m being virtually rejected by women who don’t even know that I exist! I bemoaned this fact to Julie and then I said, ‘I’m going to get an ad somewhere where I’ll be appreciated.’
Julie looked at me, waited a moment, and said, ‘And that would be where?’
‘I have no idea. But it must exist, right?’
Sadly, I don’t think it does exist. I have a feeling that the wild world of online dating isn’t for me. I’m just not that attractive on paper (virtual or real paper, I might add). Ladies need to be exposed to me for awhile before my charms become apparent, which means that online dating, speed dating, and most normal social settings don’t work in my favor.
What’s a rapidly thinning geek to do?
Though, it isn’t all sadness and garment rending in the world of Scott. I went to Thad’s holiday party a few weeks ago and I have it on good authority that some of the women in attendance thought I was nice and funny. That’s something I suppose, though I have the feeling that most ladies look at me as the nice and funny friend. I need to be a bad boy, or something. I must add a leather jacket and profanity to my daily gear.
Here is the full text of the strangest email I have received in a long while:
Okay, I just cut my hair because I wanted something different. But people keeps telling me that they liked me better with long hair..I have brown hair and I am about 5`9. I am also 14 years old. How can I get my long hair back before Christmas with out all of the treatments and by keeping it healthy...
Sadly, I have no words of wisdom for this girl, other than short hair rocks. I mean, it is much less upkeep, though I do like longish hair on women (though I like short hair on women too. I like women, basically).
Oddly enough, I think I look better with short hair. And so does this creep guy who commented on this picture of me (which I think is an awful picture of me). Why do I get so many compliments from creep dudes and so few from lovely ladies?
I have a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that I am a successful dieter, but I suppose losing 48 pounds is a success. I'm still fat though (and phat).
Blogging has brought my good things into my life, and Star was one of them.. I count her amongst my friends, and possibly one of the few people I had ever met who was geekier than I am.
It pains me to write about her in the past tense.
I don't really have any words of wisdom to share with you all about this. It just sucks.
Star, I have been and always shall be your friend.
Once again I am hosting the McNulty family Thanksgiving (which consists of my Mom, my brother Sean, and me). You know what that means! The next 2 days are going to be a whirlwind of cleaning up my apartment, even though my mother always says the same thing no matter how much I clean, ‘Don’t you ever dust?!’
Here’s what needs to be done before noon on Wednesday:
Laundry Buy a coffee pot (suggestions anyone?)
- Mop and sweep:
put away all my dishes
- clean the stove
take out trash dispose of Ikea boxes
- clean bathtub
get a new toothbrush (not related, but I need to do it so I might as well put it on here) put my entertainment system back in order (I ripped it apart doing something 2 weeks ago, and apart it has stayed) find batteries for inflatable bed (or else Sean sleeps on the floor) find inflatable mattress to put previous item into (the batteries, not Sean) organize crap on coffee-table
- clean up crap on my dresser (I make piles)
pick up all the change on the floor (my floor is like a change magnet) Make reservations for Wed. at Jones (per Dan’s suggestion)
It is no secret that my father is dead. It is also no secret that my blog is the 'paper of record' for my life. I just found my father's obituarity hanging out in my documents folder, and I thought I would post it so I would know where it is.
I hadn't spoke to my father after he and my mother got divorced. I only found out he had died because an insurance company sent a letter to my mom to her old Yonkers address (where I was living). I called her up, opened the letter and found out that dear old dad was dead. I then did a search for his obit with my mad internet skillz, at my mom's request, and found this:
Cornelius V. McNulty, 56, of Poughkeepsie, died at home on Friday, Aug. 23, 2002. Mr. McNulty was a counselor for the Friars of Atonement, managing a residence in Poughkeepsie. Born in New York City on Nov. 10, 1945, he was the son of Gerard and Catherine McManus McNulty. He is survived by a sister, Catherine Paoli of Woodbury, Conn.; several nieces and nephews, and a dear friend, Louise Fitzpatrick of Poughkeepsie. Calling hours are Sunday, Aug. 25, from 2-6 p.m. at the William G. Miller - Son Funeral Home, Inc., 371 Hooker Ave., Poughkeepsie. A Mass of Christian Burial will be celebrated on Monday, Aug. 26, at 10 a.m. at St Marys Church, 231 Church St., Poughkeepsie. Burial will be in the family plot in Poughkeepsie. Memorial donations may be made to St. Christophers Inn, Attn: Jan, Box 150, Graymoor, Garrison, NY 10524. If you need directions or wish to sign our guestbook, visit our website at www.wmgmillerfuneralhome.com.
I hadn't seen or spoken to my father in about 11 years (or so) when I found out about this, so I wasn't that upset about it. I did think it odd that neither my brother or I was mentioned in the obit, but what can you do.
Anywho, I posted this so I wouldn't miss place it (and it would get backed up with my blog). If you forget where you came from you'll never know where you're going (or something).
Oh yeah, dear dad had a touch o' the alcoholism, which is why I am not much of a drinker. Hurrah!
I came across this article about how men aren't attracted to funny women, and before I even read it I thought, “Pish-posh! I find funny women very attractive.' Then I read the article, and came across this line:
While women want to settle down with a guy who can crack a good joke, men, to a large degree, want a partner who laughs at their antics.
I then knew that it wasn't very far off base. I will admit that I find women who find me funny to be more attractive. Hey, it is all about me, isn't it? However, I also find a woman who can give as good as she gets, so there.
Of course I don't know what women want (other than not me, even though I have it on good authority that I am, on occasion, funny), they are a mystery to me.
I've been going gray for awhile, and it doesn't bother me anymore (when it first strarted coming in I freaked out a little, embraced it and the I found my first gray chest hair and then I freaked out again. Don't worry, I won't be posting pictures of my chest hair. They are available for private showings thought).
I wager that I'll be entirely gray in less than 10 years.
I was thinking, 'Oh. My. Lord. I'm standing next to Steve Wozniak.'
Then I looked at the picture and I thought, 'Gee, he looks a little demented.'
You're all the best! That's right, each and every one of you is better than... each and every one of you. Or something.
I went with number one, since it is the most recent and I'm wearing a Hawaiian shirt in it.
It is true! Check out this picture that I just took after coming home from the gym. I'm glowing like a pig!
That's right, I have lost roughly 18.3 pounds in a little over a month. Not too shabby. I must admit that my least favorite part of this whole thing is going to the gym. Furthermore, I must admit that I have only been to the gym twice over this month, but I plan on sticking to a more regular schedule.
So goodlooking, and yet so single. What's up with that, ladies? I don't bite... hard. ;)
Democracy sucks, that's what I say. Mostly because I have to be at the courthouse promptly at 8:15am. What's up with that?