Blankbaby

Yet another reason why I shouldn't live by myself

As you know, I've picked up some new shirts as of late. Sadly, the problem with button down shirts is that they need to be ironed before you wear them (just the thought of wearing a wrinkled shirt to work makes my mother's voice ring in my head, 'You're not going out looking like that, are you?' Make it stop!), so that's how I found myself almost out of a house and home this evening.

I woke up this morning, almost on time, and hopped in the shower. I then went to my closet to try and decide what to wear. All my shirts were horribly wrinkled, so I picked a blue striped one and fetched the iron. Now, I'm an 'adult' but I don't own an ironing board so I drape a towel over my coffee table and iron things on that. This means that I often rest the iron on top of my TV, which is within easy reach of my ironing board/coffee table. After my shirt was ironed to my satisfaction (i.e. I couldn't see any more wrinkles on it, but invariably that means the shirt is about 75% wrinkle free) I put the iron on top of my TV, got dressed, and hurried off to work.

After many hours at work, slaving over a hot computer, I wearily made my way home. As I stumbled into my apartment, and dropped in my favorite chair to get a moment's rest I hear an odd noise. It was ticking, but not the ticking of a clock. Have you ever been next to a car that has recently been turned off after driving for a long while? You know that tick you hear, the metal throwing off heat and expanding (or contracting... whichever one it is)? That was the noise I was hearing, but I was pretty sure no one had parked a car in my living room. I scanned the room quickly and that's when I saw it, sitting on my TV so innocently. An iron on the 'cotton setting,' happily heating itself, and using up all the water I put into it this morning to iron the very shirt that I was wearing.

I leapt from my chair, quickly unplugged the iron, and sighed a mighty sigh. The TV, luckily, wasn't even warm after 10 hours of having an iron sitting upright on it.

The lesson here is clear: I should live in a home of some sort, and I should purchase wrinkle free shirts from now on.

I'm available for weddings

It is always a nice feeling when you know that someone you care about is very happy. You know the feeling, don't you? A sort of warm, squiggly feeling deep inside of you that let's you know the world isn't half bad. It is not unusual for someone to feel this way at a wedding of a dear friend, and I am happy to report that is just how I felt this past Friday. However, this feeling was amplified because two good friends were getting married... to each other and I can take at some of the credit for it. Thad and Angie (if those are their REAL names) got hitched this past weekend after a 2 year courtship (or there abouts) and I introduced them to one another! Such is the mighty power of the Blankbaby, I tells you! Remember, ladies, I'm still single and I am very fashionable as evidenced by the above picture. Anyone who has encountered Thad and Angie (or Thadgelica as some have called them) over the past year or so could tell that these two wacky kids were meant to be together. I'm just happy they let me participate in their happy day (I was an usher, and I must say that I ush with the best of 'em). The ceremony itself was very nice, though the priest's homily was a little creepy. He managed to bring up pedophilia and having a threesome with Christ in the same homily. It was most impressive. I also nearly managed to make Marisa laugh out loud during the ceremony, which would have been hilarious (to me at least). Other highlights of the evening include:

• Thad's dad telling me to stop calling his son a jackass
• Thad's mom saying to me, as she walked out of the church, 'What's going on good looking?' to which I said, 'I'll see YOU later.' and winked at her.
• Dancing like a fool with Roz, Bart, and Marisa. Roz managed to snap a few shots of Marisa and I making like Fred and Ginger, and me getting up off the floor after doing the worm (I'm a wild man on the dance floor!).
• Marisa falling in love with, and then absconding with, a pumpkin.
• Escorting Owen down the aisle.
• Having Roz tell me that I am handsome with my glases but VERY handsome without (I told her that she should see me without pants... she wasn't interested).

A good time was had by all, and here are my pictures, Roz's pictures, and Marisa's pictures to prove it.

BlogPhiladelphia rocked, and rocked HARD

The first time I heard about BlogPhiladelphia I was doubtful. This had nothing to do with the people behind it, rather I am just naturally a stick in the mud (which might explain why I am not an entrepreneur. I would have been the one friend of Henry Ford’s who would have said, ‘Eh. Who wants a mass assembled car?! The people want something hand man, sir!’). Luckily, despite my reservations and thanks to the charms of Alex and Annie I signed on to not only attend but to lead two sessions (give me a roomful of people and a microphone and I’m a happy man. I’m the most extroverted introvert you have ever met, I tells ya!).

As with most things in my life, it turned out to be a very good decision (I should always do the exact opposite of what I think I should do, but that’s another post entirely, and a Seinfeld episode to boot!).

Simply put: BlogPhiladelphia was a kick ass time, and I hope to do it again soon.

Annie, Alex, and the whole Uwishunu and the Philly Tourism Board did a fantastic job putting on this great unconference. The unconference format really highlights the best part of conferences: the conversations you have in the hallways. Instead of making people whisper during panels, the people in the audience are the real experts and they get fools (like me) to facilitate the conversation and try and keep it on point.

The thing that really surprised me was that people wanted to meet me. Me?! Why are these people interested in meeting me? Strikes me as a little odd, but hey I’m an egomaniac so I’ll take what I can get.

Rob Sandie, President of Viddler, has a great post up recapping all the reasons that BlogPhilly rocked (and I am not just saying that because he starts off with me and calls me the funniest person imaginable… though that doesn’t hurt. Thanks, Rob!). Check it out, and I’ll be posting another thing or two about BlogPhiladelphia in the coming days.

Yes, that's a picture of me leading a session. Thanks to Tony for taking it! Check out the BlogPhiladelphia Flickr pool for even more pictures from the event.

Blankbaby Reader survey: To beard or not to beard?

I've asked this question before (twice, in fact) and each time the beard wins out, however, I haven't shaved off the beard since I lost 95 pounds (and counting). So, dear readers, should I grow back my beard, or let my skinny face be naked?

You're all smarter than I am (except for you, and you know who you are), so tell me what to do with my face (and keep it clean, people!).

Photos by stellargirl (I think she took both of them.. I know she took the one on the left, but Thad might be responsible for the one on the right).

Wanna see me get yelled at on TV?

I have been a busy, busy panda here at WWDC (that's Apple's World Wide Developer's Conference to you, bub). Oh, that's right, I was so busy leading up to it that I didn't mention on Ye Olde Blankbaby that I would be in San Francisco this week. I'm here until Friday, so if you are a Blankbaby reader and you live in the Bay Area now is your chance to meet me!

Anyway, right after the Steve Jobs Keynote I get an email from a producer at CNBC. It would seem Steve Rubel (thanks, Steve!) gave him my name (and the names of a few of my fellow TUAW bloggers) because he was looking for someone to appear on Fast Money's Face2Face segment. They wanted someone to talk about the Keynote, though the catch was that they wanted someone at the conference. Since I'm currently in SF covering it, they went with little old me. They had me log into a WebEx session, dial up a conference number (using speakerphone) and talk into my iSight. They also made me take off my glasses, which made me sad but anything for TV (there was some glare from the glasses).

You can check it out here on iTunes and see me try to talk some sense into these fast talking traders (or you can look at it on Viddler. Thanks, Alex!). I don't know if I succeeded, but at least I didn't sound like too much of an idiot.

It is useful to keep in mind that I really didn't have any idea what they were going to ask me about. I knew they wanted to hear the 'Man on the Street' view of the Keynote but they didn't give me any specific areas they wanted to talk about. I wanted to talk about Safari 3 being on Windows but they were more interested in the iPhone (shocking, I know).

Oh, and thanks to Frank for the kind words. It was quite an intro that Dylan gave me... and one I try to live up to though I fail miserably more often than not. What's that saying, 'being there is 90%.' I might have just made that up.

The Ferik wedding

Ain't they cute?
Originally uploaded by blankbaby.

This weekend was the wedding of my dear friend Owen to his lovely bride Jess. Check out all the pictures I took here.

I've known Owen for about 12 years now (has it really been that long?) and while I am pretty sucky about keeping in touch with people Owen has made the effort to say in touch with me (why, we might never know). Now that Thad is in Philly I make it out to Allentown more often for some quality Owen time, which is a good thing indeed.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy the pictures as much as I enjoyed the wedding.

Jess and Owen, here's to many years of bliss.

At Owen and Jess' reception

Let me show you my photo face

I like to think of myself as shy and retiring, an opinion that isn't always upheld by reality. Sure, I'm fairly shy around people I don't know, but around friends I'm far from shy (and if I'm in front of a crowd... forget about it). Concurrently, I like to think of myself as someone who is happier behind the scenes, not the center of attention. Once again, reality disagrees.

There are many pictures of myself on Flickr (234 at the moment), which I suppose isn't the mark of some shy, reticent individual.

Here's a story that goes with the above picture:

I was amongst those lucky enough to be invited to a certain someone's birthday party, so I got gussied up (you never know who you'll meet at these parties. Yes, ladies, I am single.) and headed on over. Stellargirl was also in attendance with her camera in hand, and for some reason, and with no prodding from yours truly, she decided to start snapping pictures of me. Once it became clear that our height differences were making the ideal shot difficult to get she had me sit in a chair, which I did because I am ever the willing photographic subject (see here, here, here, and here). As the camera clicked away Becky walked in, and rolled her eyes saying, 'Of course, Scott is getting his picture taken.' Really, what party is complete without me getting my picture taken at it?

Anywho, the real reason I am writing this post is to call your attention to the face that I am making in the above picture (taken by stellargirl herself). This face is my default picture face (Lord knows why) and as such deserves a name (ala Zoolander's Blue Steel). Sound off in the comments with some suggestions! You know you want to.

The man of the hour

Calvert DeForest, a.k.a Larry 'Bud' Melman, is no more

Calvert DeForest died today. You might remember him from David Letterman's show where he played the character Larry 'Bud' Melman. He always got a laugh from me, what with his odd delivery of pretty random stuff (my favorite kind of humor).

Death has been in my thoughts a lot as of late. Well, perhaps not a lot, but more than usual. A friend of mine recently died due to complications from surgery and I don't think he was much older than I am. Not to mention the sudden, and entirely unexpected, death of Star. It really makes you think about what you're doing with your life.

Death is also a great motivator, at least for me. It is the main reason I have managed to shed 75 pounds in recent months. Death is a constant thought in the back of my mind as I go about my day. I really don't want to be another person who dies because they didn't take care of themselves (though heart disease does run in my family. Hurrah!). I'm not afraid of dying, really, so much as not willing to miss out on everything that will happen after I'm gone. I don't believe in an afterlife, or reincarnation, or anything along those lines. This life is the only one I get, and I damn well better enjoy it.

Heavy stuff, huh? I promise I'm not depressed! I'm a pragmatist when it comes to my own death (cremation, I think, is what'll happen to my body since I doubt any of my organs are harvestable... but the doctors should check. If they can use it, they can have it!) but I am against it happening to other people.