I was at Trader Joe's today (a store which I enjoy not, but that is an entry for another time) and I was carrying the book that I am currently reading, 'Judas Unchained.' It is a fairly large book, so I stored it in my basket as I tooled around the store.
Soon my purchases were all safely in my basket, and off to the checkout I went. I popped my shopping basket on the counter, and the checkout girl removed the items one by one until she got to my book. She said, 'Whoa, that's a big book.'
And I was all like, yep.
'Is that the longest book you have ever read,' she inquired.
Now, technically I am still in the process of reading this book, so the question was ill formed, however, I had enough sense not to point that out.
'No, it isn't. I read a book about the French Revolution called...'
'War and Peace?'
'That's about the Russian Revolution, actually,' I replied
Then there was silence.
'Well,' she said, 'looks like you have a lot of reading to do.'
Off I went with my groceries and book in tow. However, the encounter got me thinking about the longest book I had ever read.
Judas Unchained is 848 pages long, which is long but not the longest book I have ever read.
I thought that 'Citizens' (the book about the French Revolution) was the longest book I had read but it turns out that it is only 976 pages (and weighs 3.5 pounds!).
I had to read Citizens for one of high-school history classes, and I must admit I didn't enjoy it all that much. However, one image from the book, a monument to Napoleon in the shape of a large plaster elephant that had fallen into disrepair around the time of the Revolution, really stuck in my head. I don't know why, but it did.
It turns out that the longest book I have read (well, remember reading) is 'Adolf Hitler: The Definitive Biography' which clocks in at 1120 pages. That's a lot of Hitler. However, if you are looking for a good book about Hitler's life (and who isn't?) then this is the one you should read.
A little story about this book: The copy I had featured the words Adolf Hitler in bold letters on the cover and a gigantic swastika. Nothing else was on the cover. Now, I was also reading this book for high-school, and I went to school in Manhattan. What does that mean? I had to ride the subway everyday back and forth to school. It took about 45 minutes each way, and I enjoyed reading during that time. Since I had to read this huge book for school, it only made sense that I read it on the subway.
It didn't enter into my mind that a large white man reading a book adored with a gigantic swastika on the subway might turn a few heads.
Scott, I hear you wondering, why didn't you just remove the dust jacket with the big old Nazi sign and be done with it? I would have, if it were my book. Sadly, it was the library's copy and they had sealed the whole thing in that plastic that they use to protect book covers (even ones with swastikas it would seem).
Anyway, I read this book on the subway for awhile with no problems. Then one day I was on the 4 train, headed home and something malfunctioned on the train. We had to get off at the 161st Street stop (that's Yankees Stadium) and wait for the next train. It was a gorgeous day; the sky was clear blue, the wind was blowing ever so slightly, and across from me was the majesty that is Yankee Stadium.
I'm reading my Hitler book, minding my own business when a gentleman wearing a yarmulke walks up to me.
Now, I may not be an authority on Talmudic law, but I do know that a Jew seeing someone reading a huge book about Hitler might get the wrong impression.
He says to me, 'How can you read about such a monster on a beautiful day like this?'
I explained to him that it was for school, and that I had had a bagel for breakfast and I was thinking about have a knish for dinner... and he was cool with that. He did spend the rest of our time waiting for the next train telling me how he thought Lloyd's of London had orchestrated WWII. Something about the price of ship tar. It was a long time ago and the details are fuzzy.
So what is the longest book you have ever read?
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