That's right, all of my socks (well, all my white socks) are getting tossed. I know this might seem like an extreme course of action, but allow me to explain.
This afternoon I was making ready to sally forth to the gymnasium. I secured some shorts (Nike shorts with Dri-Fit technology that I picked up in San Francisco for $5) and went to gather some socks. I recently did a load of whites, so all my white socks were in a bag on my couch. I reached into the bag and pull out an ankle length sock. Fortune must be smiling upon me, thought I, since I wanted one of this low rise socks for my gym excursion. I reached in and grabbed another ankle sock, though sadly this sock wasn't the mate of the first sock. I gathered my wits and dove in for another sock. Out it came, and a sense of dread overcame me. Could it be? Was it a trick of the light?
Nope.
A third variant of ankle sock was in my hand. I now had 3 distinct socks in my hand, which isn't very helpful. The 4th time was the charm, but I knew something had to be done about this.
One of the worst parts of doing laundry is pairing socks, and the solution dawned on me as I was donning my hard fought pair of socks. Simply replace all my white socks with a number of new pairs that are all the same. This way I would never have to worry about finding a mate (for my socks) because all of my socks would be interchangeable.
I know, I know. I'm brilliant.
Therefore, at some point this week I'll be buying a bunch of new socks. My plan is to have two types of white socks: calf length, and ankle length. This way I'll have some choice but I will never have to worry about mismatched white socks again.
My colored socks, sadly, will remain a source of consternation. You see, I hate having to pair them up, but I love having a variety of argyle socks. It is a catch 22 if ever there was one.
I am sure there are some nay-sayers out there that are thinking, "Couldn't you have spent the time it took to draft this post sorting your socks and be done with it?"
To them I say this, when did you lose your child-like sense of whimsy?
The only question that remains is how many socks should I buy. I'm thinking a month's supply which means 31 pairs of both varieties. Thank goodness I have Amazon Prime.
Update: I just ran the numbers (in Amazon) and I can get 72 new pairs of socks for about $200. Doesn't seem like a bad price to me (the new socks would all be Gold Toes). I'll hold off on making this purchase since you, my faithful readers, are often much more clever than I.
