Visit the Doctor I did
Thanks to my damnable ears I went to the doctor's office today. Now, normally the doctor's office makes me nervous and today it was doubly worse because I was going to be checked out by a lady doctor.
Why does that matter? Well, since I haven't been to the doctor in a little while I supposed that they would give me the old once over. I thought I would have to take off my outer layer of clothes, hop on the old butcher paper, and let her prod me.
Mostly, I was worry about the 'Turn your head and cough,' routine. I often find it an awkward position when someone I just met is holding my testicles. Maybe it is just me but at least wine and dine me a little first. So I couldn't help but imagine this lovely lady doctor with her hands down my shorts cupping my testicles, even though I was there because my ears were bothering me.
It would seem that medical theory has moved on because I wasn't asked to take off my clothes, and the Doctress (that's a lady doctor) didn't have her hands anywhere near my testicles (at least not in a professional manner, if you know what I mean).
She also told me that the concept of a yearly checkup has gone out of vogue. Now doctors think you should just visit when you need something (or once every few years) and that's when they'll take care of the routine stuff. Interesting, thought I.
So, what did the good doctor have to tell me?
Firstly, I'm overweight (I could have told her that).
Secondly, I have slightly high blood pressure (see number one).
Thirdly, I have two ear infections (one for each ear!).
I also found out that I have crooked ear canals, which is probably why I get water stuck in them so often (and it is amazing that I haven't had more infections!) and why they had trouble looking into my ears. They told me to stop using Q-tips (though they didn't offer up an alternative ear wax solution) and gave me glorious drugs. Neomycin and Polymyxin B Sulfates and Hydrocortisone Otic Suspension, USP to be exact (which I am sure is all natural). 4 drops in each ear every day for 10 days and my ears should be back in fighting shape. If they aren't I'll have to go visit a specialist (who I will refer to as my 'Ear guy'), but I'm hoping that the drugs will do the trick and forestall the need of an Ear Guy.
Overall, the visit went well and I even got a pen out of the deal, so I'm not complaining... much.
